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Contacting matches

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  • #16
    You never know where answering a question might lead!


    • #17
      One of my matches is dead. His wife wrote me a nice email a while back.


      • #18
        Exceedingly polite

        Thank you, for the comment about being exceedingly polite. I received this response from someone who listed surnames of Thompson and Shaffer:

        I do not have THOMPSON or SHAFFER in my ancestry, I am not a direct male descendant, that is not my surname and if they were in my ancestry it would be over 12 or more generations. Pay a genealogist to do your research, I am not a genealogist. I already know from my ancestors that I am Hamrick and there is not a single Shaffer great ancestor in my tree of 120+ generations and that is a fact. Sorry you are mistaken & confused!

        I suspect someone else had ordered his DNA test. I was feeling decidedly unpolite after that, but I decided not to reply!

        So far I've had no luck. I had two fairly good matches. The first one didn't answer and the second had a bad email address. I contacted 40 more who had common surnames. About half replied, but we weren't able to find any common people to the limit of our research.


        • #19
          Very interesting thread! I am so new to this, my results are still be 'processed' (2-3 weeks yet!) but I am looking forward to the day I can see whether I have any matches or not!

          I can totally understand all the frustration caused by people not responding and/or being rude when replying.

          I have had the same experience on most family tree websites/genealogy websites I have used over the years.

          On I probably have about a 1 in 10 success rate with replies from messages to other tree members, and you can see people have been logging into their accounts, so they must see thay they have a message!

          We all have busy lives but I do feel that if you are doing this then you can spare 2 minutes to send a quick email. If you can't devote the time right now, then just say so, and tell me you'll be in touch soon. Also rudeness is just not acceptable in my opinion.

          Every message I receive, be it on Ancestry, or any other website including JewishGen etc, even if the sender is mistaken and has the wrong information, I will reply and talk to them and try and point them in the wrong direction.

          For GeorgeMouchet - well done for showing restraint, I don't think would have been able to had I received a message like that, especially if they had listed those names in the first palce!!

          Can't wait to get going with all this