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  • mixedkid
    replied
    Sometimes I lose the gist of the original posts on these threads, but I'll throw in my two-cents here:

    I think there is something to the belief that certain non-physical traits are biologically inherited. That is not to say that those traits cannot be molded, to a point, by our social world (including our parenting -- by our parents, grandparents, teachers or whoever else is in our personal "village").

    I have no doubt that personalilty characteristics are inherited.

    Over time, I have come to accept that basic intelligence is inherited too. One theory in psychology I very much believe in is Dr. Howard Gardner's Theory of Multiple Intelligences. The original 7 intelligences he wrote about were: linguistic, logical-mathematical, musical, bodily-kinesthetic, spacial, intrapersonal and interpersonal. In his later writings, Gardner notes the possibility there may be others as well, including spiritual intelligence.
    Last edited by mixedkid; 14 November 2011, 12:31 AM. Reason: corrected spelling

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  • Mudgeeclarke
    replied
    Originally posted by geharris611 View Post

    .....

    My grandfather used to say that at the end of the day the only thing that really matters is whether or not the world is a better place because you are in it. From the sounds of it, I'd say the answer to that is yes.
    An excellent summary (although I cut the first paragraphs off here for brevity sake.)

    My brother and wife adopted three children - now grown and married. Each different in nature and outlook. But each one a credit to their parents and to themselves. Of the three, I believe only one has any vague wish to identify the birth parent(s). And yes, the world is a better place because they are in it.

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  • geharris611
    replied
    A little different perspective

    Being the parents of 4 children (all adopted) and coming from a broken home myself, while my wife came from a home who's history is something out of a horror story, there is another perspective to your situation.

    Nature vs. Nurture: I see it in my kids. Sometimes I wonder "where did that come from" but I also realize that my kids are too unique to be classified by their genes or by their raising. They are each a wonderfully created, unique contribution to society that has more to do with who they are inside than where they came from or how they were raised. Three of my kids are biologically related and are as different as night and day from each other and the one that has no biological connection at all is most like her mother so I don't put a lot of weight on the whole concept.

    Lost opportunities: I understand the jealousy part, I sometimes feel that with what I feel are the lost connections to my fathers family (that's what got me into geneology in the first place) and the thought that there are a whole group of people out there that lived their lives, totally oblivious to the fact that I existed. I can't help but wonder how my life would have been if my father had not been absent, if I had been raised with another set of grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. but time has allowed me to see that it's ok that I wasn't a part of their lives. My life is my life and it's been what I've made it, which is pretty good, and not what someone else injected into it. Who knows that it would have been any better, it may have been worse.

    Self-esteem: Like you, I was the only member of my family to complete college on my mother's side. Rather than dwelling on the fact that your paternal side has all these interesting people in it, concentrate on the fact that you made it, without the inherent opportunities that may have been available to them. That speaks volumes for who you are as a person and is something to be enormously proud of. In a world where too many people are all too willing to blame their failures on anything but themselves, you chose to get past your lost opportunities and succeed in spite of your upbringing. If your fathers family embraces you, fine, if they don't, it's their loss.

    My grandfather used to say that at the end of the day the only thing that really matters is whether or not the world is a better place because you are in it. From the sounds of it, I'd say the answer to that is yes.

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  • EdwardRHill
    replied
    Originally posted by MrsB View Post
    No problem, the thing is there is no way to flag you actually have NO Gedcom, nor that you are an adoptee/NPE/have no information, so people make assumptions that you don't want to create one.

    Plus some people do make judgements about helping, so adoptees etc can a little shy about mentioning it. There are actually people out there who think adoptees shouldnt have access to any information and won't help them (and yes even people who do genealogy and DNA testing can have that attitude).
    Thanks I'm just glad i know what I was doing now to get the adoptes upset with me. I was just wondering why i was attracting so many adoptees when I was posting i most have been posting on adoptes subject matter. I'll be more carefully

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  • MrsB
    replied
    Originally posted by EdwardRHill View Post
    First off all treads wonder and go off subject. My problem was with you directing your comment towards me and the other guy. I keep running into Adoptee's who I seem to offend. I had read the first post months ago and when I saw the post about Gencom's I chimed in my two cents about the importance of Gencom's. If you see the tread goes of subject just remind those posting about off subject topic's. I have in countered other adoptee's here who seem to be very sensitive I had know idea what I was doing to them and started to wonder if they were a bunch of nuts jobs. Now that you have pointed out my mistake now I understand what I might have been doing and I will be more careful.

    No problem, the thing is there is no way to flag you actually have NO Gedcom, nor that you are an adoptee/NPE/have no information, so people make assumptions that you don't want to create one.

    Plus some people do make judgements about helping, so adoptees etc can a little shy about mentioning it. There are actually people out there who think adoptees shouldnt have access to any information and won't help them (and yes even people who do genealogy and DNA testing can have that attitude).

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  • EdwardRHill
    replied
    Originally posted by MrsB View Post
    So in a thread about adoptees you whine about people not posting gedcoms..

    And then whine when adoptees might think you are talking about them?

    When about nine times out of ten if there is no gedcom there is either an adoptee or an unknown parent...but you're right I should never presume to explain that to you, you just carry on making assumptions that everyone not posting a gedcom is just too lazy, or are doing it JUST to make your life harder.
    First off all treads wonder and go off subject. My problem was with you directing your comment towards me and the other guy. I keep running into Adoptee's who I seem to offend. I had read the first post months ago and when I saw the post about Gencom's I chimed in my two cents about the importance of Gencom's. If you see the tread goes of subject just remind those posting about off subject topic's. I have in countered other adoptee's here who seem to be very sensitive I had know idea what I was doing to them and started to wonder if they were a bunch of nuts jobs. Now that you have pointed out my mistake now I understand what I might have been doing and I will be more careful.

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  • MrsB
    replied
    Originally posted by EdwardRHill View Post
    Your post was directed at me and the other guy. The tread had wondered into a conversation about people posting Gencom.
    So in a thread about adoptees you whine about people not posting gedcoms..

    And then whine when adoptees might think you are talking about them?

    When about nine times out of ten if there is no gedcom there is either an adoptee or an unknown parent...but you're right I should never presume to explain that to you, you just carry on making assumptions that everyone not posting a gedcom is just too lazy, or are doing it JUST to make your life harder.

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  • EdwardRHill
    replied
    Originally posted by MrsB View Post
    Gee I'm sorry to mention being an adoptee in a thread about adoption that then mentions lack of Gedcoms

    Sometimes a list of names provided by an adoptee might simply be the names that have occured the most frequently in their matches and look like possibilites.

    I have a Gedcom of my entire mothers side, doesnt help with finding my fathers side cos I have no name, no location (other than two different countries - both with young immigrant populations and no guarantee he was born in either), no ethnicity etc, but yeah I can create a Gedcom with that!

    Some peoples trees are more complicated than one area of one country.
    Your post was directed at me and the other guy. The tread had wondered into a conversation about people posting Gencom.
    Last edited by EdwardRHill; 10 November 2011, 06:33 PM.

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  • MrsB
    replied
    Originally posted by EdwardRHill View Post
    I love the fact that adoptees or orphans always think I'm writing about them even when they are not even given a second thought. When I see a surename list I'm guessing that the match has enough information to create a tree. If you don't weather a adoptees, orphans, or whatever it is your business not mine and I don't care if you have one or not.

    I have been working on my mother side of the tree. These people lived in a area of the country and one day I was looking at some of my matches Gencoms and noticed that we shared an area of the country. Some of the Gencoms had name, dates and location while the rest of the tree had just names. My guess its to much trouble to try to create a Gencom but if some extra time and energy in creating a Gencom would be applied than it would be easier for you and your matches to find clues to a Common Ancestor if not find a Common Ancestor.
    Gee I'm sorry to mention being an adoptee in a thread about adoption that then mentions lack of Gedcoms

    Sometimes a list of names provided by an adoptee might simply be the names that have occured the most frequently in their matches and look like possibilites.

    I have a Gedcom of my entire mothers side, doesnt help with finding my fathers side cos I have no name, no location (other than two different countries - both with young immigrant populations and no guarantee he was born in either), no ethnicity etc, but yeah I can create a Gedcom with that!

    Some peoples trees are more complicated than one area of one country.

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  • EdwardRHill
    replied
    Originally posted by Dumbldorf View Post
    No reason to feel like you need to have a COMPLETE and verified tree before you post. If you don't want to be responsible for misinformation just post what you know and as you find out more delete the tree and upload the new one.

    I try to get the best info I can in my Ancestry tree but I think anyone there knows that there is no guarantee of accuracy and works with it as such if they have a serious interest. There are all levels of error out there but it is better than nothing and easy to weed most of it out. Often if supporting data is posted you can feel more confident in the data and no one is forcing anyone to use it. The users have free will to pick and choose so i don't need to feel responsible for the users actions. When I find a confirmed match I post a DNA pic so I know and it adds one more later of reliability.

    Unless someone is an adoptee or NPE they can provide info back a few generations and that is often enough.

    BTW if more people used a DNA flag on there trees it would probably eventually speed up DNA usage since people would see that option. JMO
    I agree with you 100% its not like anyone going to us your Gencom as a source. Its there as a aid and I just decided to go back to the ninth generation to cast a bigger net. I also flag my Common Ancestry and for the same reason you mention.

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  • Dumbldorf
    replied
    Tree length

    No reason to feel like you need to have a COMPLETE and verified tree before you post. If you don't want to be responsible for misinformation just post what you know and as you find out more delete the tree and upload the new one.

    I try to get the best info I can in my Ancestry tree but I think anyone there knows that there is no guarantee of accuracy and works with it as such if they have a serious interest. There are all levels of error out there but it is better than nothing and easy to weed most of it out. Often if supporting data is posted you can feel more confident in the data and no one is forcing anyone to use it. The users have free will to pick and choose so i don't need to feel responsible for the users actions. When I find a confirmed match I post a DNA pic so I know and it adds one more later of reliability.

    Unless someone is an adoptee or NPE they can provide info back a few generations and that is often enough.

    BTW if more people used a DNA flag on there trees it would probably eventually speed up DNA usage since people would see that option. JMO

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  • EdwardRHill
    replied
    Originally posted by JD Edwards View Post
    I haven't posted a tree yet and here is the reason....Much of the information I had gleaned from other people was just plain wrong! I've basically started over..from scratch..When I can verify and confirm a particular person/place or thing..I'll then add it to the tree... I am in search of the truth...not just a story that is nice to hear.That was the number one inspiration for starting this journey of DNA genealogy...to get to the truth..JD
    I understand wanting to do the best that you can do, but not everyone that post a tree at Ancestry does a bad job. If I'm adding information from other tree its usually from trees that have more than bar bones information. When I created a tree for a Gencom I used the information I had hoping to fell in the tree back to the 9th generation. About 60 to 75% of the tree back to the 9th generation was filled in. The last 40 to 25% of the tree i tried to fill in using information found in public trees which increased the amount of the tree that had a name to 85 to 95%. Its my guess its better to have a name than not, if one of my matches see that I have a name of interest that I got from a public tree than I can work on proving that the Common Ancestor is the right person if they are not than I can remove them. While time goes by I can work on proveing or disprove the information I got from Public tree's. I just think its better to have a least a surname, date, and location when it comes to Gencoms.
    Last edited by EdwardRHill; 7 November 2011, 07:16 PM.

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  • JD Edwards
    replied
    Family tree's

    I haven't posted a tree yet and here is the reason....Much of the information I had gleaned from other people was just plain wrong! I've basically started over..from scratch..When I can verify and confirm a particular person/place or thing..I'll then add it to the tree... I am in search of the truth...not just a story that is nice to hear.That was the number one inspiration for starting this journey of DNA genealogy...to get to the truth..JD

    Leave a comment:


  • Dumbldorf
    replied
    At least enough of a tree to get into census data

    It would be nice if people could at least post enough of a tree to get to 1930 census data so we could try and make a tree that would connect.

    That is assuming that they can, if they can't then they can't.

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  • EdwardRHill
    replied
    Originally posted by MrsB View Post
    I hope both you and brian realise that adoptees don't have a tree to load right?

    Problem with provising a not good enough tree and leaving them with no other option other than to contact you, isthat if I can't see a connection possibility in the range of relationship indicated (or usually two generations more) then I won't contact you because I figure you probably don't know it anyway.

    Also a lot of matches seem to leave the mothers maiden name blank, not everyone has YDNA testing available to them, especially adoptees who are female.
    I love the fact that adoptees or orphans always think I'm writing about them even when they are not even given a second thought. When I see a surename list I'm guessing that the match has enough information to create a tree. If you don't weather a adoptees, orphans, or whatever it is your business not mine and I don't care if you have one or not.

    I have been working on my mother side of the tree. These people lived in a area of the country and one day I was looking at some of my matches Gencoms and noticed that we shared an area of the country. Some of the Gencoms had name, dates and location while the rest of the tree had just names. My guess its to much trouble to try to create a Gencom but if some extra time and energy in creating a Gencom would be applied than it would be easier for you and your matches to find clues to a Common Ancestor if not find a Common Ancestor.

    Leave a comment:

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