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I found a tree full of nuts

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  • I found a tree full of nuts

    I not looking for my birth father but sometimes fell like the long lost son of someone who doesn't want to be found because he owes mom a lot of back child support. I find someone who maybe able to help. Hoping we could team up in our research and they want nothing to do with DNA. Some of this guys and gals act like I am the kid they never wanted, and I know who Mom and Dad are, so why do people test when they only want to use some clues and ignore the rest? Some people you match up with want even reply to e-mails others tell you that you're not even a match even when you can see their results post in full view and you are a match. AHHHHHHHHHHHH!! that fells better, Thanks

  • #2
    I hear ya.
    I think my entire "family" is cursed. The good ones suffer terribly, and the evil ones are so unbelievably horrible.

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    • #3
      WOHOO is us LOL

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      • #4
        Originally posted by EdwardRHill View Post
        I find someone who maybe able to help. Hoping we could team up in our research and they want nothing to do with DNA.
        DNA testing frightens many people for a whole host of reasons, not least its popular association with criminals and also because of its personal privacy invasion aspects. In my experience, these people will simply not co-operate on any grounds.

        I think it's important to keep firmly in mind that the great majority of people "out there" are not really interested in genealogy. Those that are interested take active steps to join genealogical societies, internet forums, etc.

        So, when you approach somebody "out there" who you think could help in your own research, you are essentially in selling mode and after your spiel they will either buy into all of this family research stuff or not. Like any form of selling it takes finesse and once you get a 'no' you're usually out of the game.

        As for those people who have already been tested and yet do not want to make contact, then that could be for a number of reasons such as: the original testing was organized by another person (spouse, etc); the person got themselves tested for some individual purpose and is not interested in going any further; the person associates testing with expenditure and does not want or cannot afford any more of it; they don't believe the results they got in the first place; they are simply uncommunicative by nature; or a combination of all of these sorts of things.

        There is also the unfortunate situation where a person has collected a great deal of genealogical information over decades of research and expenditure, considers it proprietary and will not share it outside of their inner circle.

        All of this is often massively frustrating, but as the saying goes: that's life.

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        • #5
          And even if they do give you information it could be misinformation. I've been lied to by relatives. When I was 13 I found my father and he said his surname was made up from random letters from a much longer name that started with the letter B. And he gave me the wrong date of birth of his mother. When I was 16 I tracked down my fathers greataunt who said the name was not shortened, but when I asked about my greatgrandparents she gave me wrong information on when her parents came to the US. She said they came over separately during the 1910s. I looked thru every microfilm reel available - and soundex- of every ship to New York from 1910 to 1919 in the NY Library. Never found them. It was as if they didn't exist. Years later I found out they came over the decade earlier.

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          • #6
            Don't feel bad. I wasn't wanted either, as I was the cause of my parents getting married. Back in 1936/37, abortions were socially frowned on; luckily for me.

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            • #7
              Oops. I meant my great aunt (my father's paternal aunt).
              Last edited by ~Elizabeth~; 26 January 2010, 01:34 AM.

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              • #8
                I bit of a miss understanding

                I bit of a miss understanding, I am not adopted and never was an orphan. I was trying to be funny about how people act when you bring up testing DNA to help with their research. The tread title (I found a tree full of nuts) was to draw readers in. Its more like half full or half empty it kind of matters on how you look at things. Anything I left out gct seems to have covered. Elizabeth I dont know if I would say I was lied to but I did get some bad information. The bad information could come from rumors or mom trying to get me to read more as a kid. It didn't work as you can see with my writing. The one lady that I mentioned that I matched up to but said that we were not a match was not lying. I called Ancestry DNA yesterday and we figured out that the person information posted on the home page was showing us as a match but if you compared the two results using (Search for Individual) then comparing the two we were not a match. It turned out that I stumble a cross a problem with the DNA program at Ancestry and they are now working on it. Hopefully this time they will take care of it because I came a cross it over a month ago and reported it then.

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