Contacting DNA matches

[Darren]

Hello all,

I wanted to share something from Roberta's blog that some may find helpful when contacting other DNA matches:

http://dna-explained.com/2016/01/20/saying-hello-in-the-dna-world/

-Darren
Family Tree DNA

[loobster]

Darren - Any chance you might consider making this "sticky".
It is amazingly useful, and I fear will likely get lost otherwise.

[Darren]

Done!

-Darren

[loobster]

Example of bad contact is an e-mail I just got:

subject heading "Related"

Message:
"Apparently we share DNA . Where is your famply from."

<firstname "nickname" lastname>
"Sent from my iPad so please excuse any typos.
If you wish to reply please respond to this email account"

I manage about a dozen kits - have no desire to go thru all to see if there really is such a person among the matches on one (or more) of the kits. And without doing that - not even sure it is not a hacking attempt!! -- No mention of FamilyTreeDNA, no kit Name of who he might be looking at, no relationship level, no info on himself.

[Marusia]

Uncontactable matches

HI...I have a very puzzling match among my results. A Match named as "Can" shows as having a Parent/Child relationship with me. None of my three children have DNA tested themselves and both my parents have passed away, neither do I believe in immaculate conception. This match shows no contact details to enable my solving this mystery... Can anyone out there explain this? I would be most grateful

[MMaddi]

If there are no contact details, it means either that the person didn't sign the release form that came with the test kit to allow FTDNA to give his/her information to matches or that he has since turned off the option to receive notification of matches. If someone has turned off receiving match notification e-mails from FTDNA, they have wittingly or unwittingly taken themselves out of being able to be contacted by matches.

A parent/child relationship is unmistakable and very easy to detect in an autosomal DNA test. Have you considered that this person is actually your biological parent and that one or both of the people you knew as your parents were not actually your biological parents? If you can't contact this match and want to investigate this possibility, you can test close relatives, such as siblings or aunts/uncles or cousins to see if they don't match you or in the case of a sibling the relationship is half, not full.

[travers]

HI...I have a very puzzling match among my results. A Match named as "Can" shows as having a Parent/Child relationship with me. None of my three children have DNA tested themselves and both my parents have passed away, neither do I believe in immaculate conception. This match shows no contact details to enable my solving this mystery... Can anyone out there explain this? I would be most grateful

It is most likely an error from the sounds of it. There are other reports of false parent/child relationships. Contact customer service and keep on them until you get a satisfactory answer as to whether the match is real or not and to how this happened. Hopefully FTDNA fixes these bugs and prevents them from happening in the future.

[1alan1]

I get very few responses. I manage two kits for my daughter in law. 23andme very few replies maybe 10%, Ancestry almost none probably 5%, GEDmatch some what OK maybe 50+%, FTDNA 2 out of 5.

I had one match reply and say, it was unacceptable to contact me and to never email her again. However she wrote it was OK for my daughter in law to contact her.

People out there are desperate to find their families I am at a loss on why others don't reply to help, or at least say sorry don't know anything.

[georgian1950]

I had one match reply and say, it was unacceptable to contact me and to never email her again. However she wrote it was OK for my daughter in law to contact her.

Interesting. I guess she can't communicate with males for whatever reason.

[The_Contemplator]

Maybe she thinks only the person possibly related to her should contact her, not someone managing the kit. Could be some twisted privacy logic where potential family is okay to share with but not with others. Weird logic of that person either way.

[MasterMel]

Contacting people

I've contacted people with my Family Finder list of 194. So far it's been OK! 20 and such and I have exchanged Gedmatch numbers and I guess I need to order a Family finder test. Just got some result of my YDNA 67 test, but can't make heads or tails of that yet. Will try and contact Gedmatch matches as well. BE SURE the people are at least 7CM's because that's the standard for a match. Also be very friendly in your messages towards them, listing all your batch and Gedmatch kit numbers. Gives people more assurance.

[The_Contemplator]

I've contacted people with my Family Finder list of 194.... I guess I need to order a Family finder test.

This is a contradiction. You mention your Family Finder list and then imply you need to order the Family Finder. Have you taken a Family Finder test or transferred an autosomal DNA test from a different company?

[Annavanvorst]

Messaging matches but they manage multiple

so my question is a few people I have messaged manage multiple accounts why is this ? just wondering ..

[Jim Barrett]

Many people manage kits for relatives who were willing to submit DNA samples but have no interest in communicating with their matches. I manage my kit and the kit of a deceased cousin.

[Araminta]

I manage several kits for several reasons. For elderly relatives it is usually because either they don't use the net or would be required to write in English or another language they don't know - remember, this company tests worldwide.