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My illegitimate sister wants me to get a DNA test to prove that we're related

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  • gtc
    replied
    Originally posted by thormalen View Post
    You are more than welcome! If I had run into someone like you in my search I would still know nothing about my people. As it is I now have a half sister and half brother on my mother's side and can trace my father's people to Scotland in the 1600s. My advice is to treat the woman like the family she is. We are no longer living in the Dark Ages.
    Again with the personal insult, and now with an added assumption.

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  • mkdexter
    replied
    Originally posted by thormalen View Post
    What a bunch of creeps. ...
    What you should be doing is apologizing for speaking in generalities and address your concerns with more maturity and with specifics.

    Not everyone here are "creeps". If you think that way go somewhere else where people aren't the creeps you think they are and enjoy life for a change.

    I'm adopted. I never said the things other people posted and yet right after my post you said "what a bunch of creeps".

    You need to apologize and approach solving your problems in a different manner.

    Matt.

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  • thormalen
    replied
    Originally posted by gtc View Post
    First, thanks for the gratuitous insult to everybody who has responded to the OP's post.

    Second, the OP raised the question of their aged father being potentially "hassled" and asked a specific question, which people have been addressing.

    Third, the OP said "I wouldn't mind a DNA test".

    From reading posts on here over a number of years I would guess that most of us are quite sympathetic to the plight of adoptees trying to find their biological roots. You don't strengthen your own case by ad hominem attacks on others.
    You are more than welcome! If I had run into someone like you in my search I would still know nothing about my people. As it is I now have a half sister and half brother on my mother's side and can trace my father's people to Scotland in the 1600s. My advice is to treat the woman like the family she is. We are no longer living in the Dark Ages.

    Leave a comment:


  • djknox
    replied
    I agree - finding another sister should be great news and I would help her as much as possible... within reason.

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  • gtc
    replied
    Originally posted by thormalen View Post
    What a bunch of creeps. You all are in to DNA because you want to know more about your people and their past. The lady is most likely just the same as you. I am adopted and knew nothing about my mother and father until I was in my mid 40s. I did a search and found my mother and then through DNA found my father's people. I want nothing more than information. To hear you folks I am some kind gold digger. I have received nothing but kindness and help.
    Help her in any way you can. She is your 1/2 sister.
    First, thanks for the gratuitous insult to everybody who has responded to the OP's post.

    Second, the OP raised the question of their aged father being potentially "hassled" and asked a specific question, which people have been addressing.

    Third, the OP said "I wouldn't mind a DNA test".

    From reading posts on here over a number of years I would guess that most of us are quite sympathetic to the plight of adoptees trying to find their biological roots. You don't strengthen your own case by ad hominem attacks on others.

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  • thormalen
    replied
    Originally posted by Brunetmj View Post
    I think a lawyer would advise you to do nothing. It is up to her to prove she has any relationship with your father.
    What a bunch of creeps. You all are in to DNA because you want to know more about your people and their past. The lady is most likely just the same as you. I am adopted and knew nothing about my mother and father until I was in my mid 40s. I did a search and found my mother and then through DNA found my father's people. I want nothing more than information. To hear you folks I am some kind gold digger. I have received nothing but kindness and help.
    Help her in any way you can. She is your 1/2 sister.

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  • mkdexter
    replied
    Originally posted by twang View Post
    "My illegitimate sister wants me to get a DNA test to prove that we're related" I just found out about her about six months ago. My dad never told us about her. He had kept her a secret for about forty years. Here's the question; can she sue my father for an inheritance or even the child support that he never paid? He's ill. He may not live much longer. I wouldn't mind a DNA test. I just don't want her hassling our father in his old age. He and my stepmother have said they don't want to see her. We're both in our 40s. Our father is in his early 80s.
    Why not get the test, make her pay for it. Knowing you both are (or are not) siblings won't allow her to take any type of legal action.

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  • NYMark
    replied
    Just search your state and "intestacy." The word for when someone dies without a will and without traceable heirs and the inheritance passes to the state is "escheat."

    I'm not an estate lawyer. This is not legal advice, and internet research is no substitute for consulting an attorney. Generally though, there's probably a good deal of similarity among the states (Louisiana excepted, since its laws are based on the Napoleonic Code not English Common Law.) Same goes for the general rules about inheritance for children. In the U.S., spouses usually have a claim to a share regardless of the will whereas children do not.

    Originally posted by EdwardRHill View Post
    well I heard wrong. Maybe you can tell all how you found it so they can try the same in theirs states.

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  • EdwardRHill
    replied
    Originally posted by NYMark View Post
    It's always a good idea to consult a lawyer about this kind of thing, and it's a good idea to write a will, but I don't think it's accurate to say that if you die without a will, the state can claim it. That's only true if there are no immediate relatives, and as far as I'm aware that's the way it is throughout the country.

    I'm not totally sure this is current (it's dated 2005), but here's some info on Virginia and intestacy.

    http://www.courts.state.va.us/courts...n_virginia.pdf

    4. WHO INHERITS THE PROPERTY OF AN INTESTATE (Person Dying Without a Will)?
    If a person dies without a will, Virginia law provides a course of descents as follows (after payment of funeral expenses, debts and cost of administration):

    a) all to the surviving spouse, unless there are children (or their descendants) of someone other than the surviving spouse in which case, one-third goes to the surviving spouse and the remaining two-thirds is divided among all children.
    b) if no surviving spouse, all passes to the children and their descendants.
    c) if none, then all goes to the deceased’s father and mother or the survivor.
    d) if none, then all passes to the deceased’s brothers and sisters and their descendants.
    e) (there are further contingent beneficiaries set out in the Virginia statutes.)
    well I heard wrong. Maybe you can tell all how you found it so they can try the same in theirs states.

    Leave a comment:


  • NYMark
    replied
    It's always a good idea to consult a lawyer about this kind of thing, and it's a good idea to write a will, but I don't think it's accurate to say that if you die without a will, the state can claim it. That's only true if there are no immediate relatives, and as far as I'm aware that's the way it is throughout the country.

    I'm not totally sure this is current (it's dated 2005), but here's some info on Virginia and intestacy.

    http://www.courts.state.va.us/courts...n_virginia.pdf

    4. WHO INHERITS THE PROPERTY OF AN INTESTATE (Person Dying Without a Will)?
    If a person dies without a will, Virginia law provides a course of descents as follows (after payment of funeral expenses, debts and cost of administration):

    a) all to the surviving spouse, unless there are children (or their descendants) of someone other than the surviving spouse in which case, one-third goes to the surviving spouse and the remaining two-thirds is divided among all children.
    b) if no surviving spouse, all passes to the children and their descendants.
    c) if none, then all goes to the deceased’s father and mother or the survivor.
    d) if none, then all passes to the deceased’s brothers and sisters and their descendants.
    e) (there are further contingent beneficiaries set out in the Virginia statutes.)

    Originally posted by EdwardRHill View Post
    If you don't have a will in Virginia... Virginia can claim it for the state. Probably more states out there that will do that another reason to get a Lawyer.

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  • EdwardRHill
    replied
    If you don't have a will in Virginia... Virginia can claim it for the state. Probably more states out there that will do that another reason to get a Lawyer.

    Leave a comment:


  • NYMark
    replied
    Nothing wrong with consulting a lawyer on this, and it's good advice, but I think the concerns are overblown. AFAIK, Louisiana is the only state with forced inheritance, and I believe it terminates at age 24.

    If there's no will, that might be something else again.

    Originally posted by MFWare View Post
    This is not necessarily true. Inheritance laws vary state-by-state. Some states have forced heirs. If the OP chooses to have an adversarial relationship with his sister, then he must accept the advice of others on this thread. Seek the advice of counsel.

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  • Chere
    replied
    I whole heartedly agree with Emyr.

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  • MFWare
    replied
    Originally posted by mixedkid View Post
    ...

    3. If your step-mom survives your dad, I see no need to worry about this new sibling attempting to claim part of the estate. Your step-mom is your dad's closest relative anyway (in the eyes of the law). If he has a will made up leaving everything to her, that ends the problem right then and there. He has no obligation, whatsoever, to leave any of his children part of his estate -- either the children he recognizes as his own or this possible new daughter of his.

    ...
    This is not necessarily true. Inheritance laws vary state-by-state. Some states have forced heirs. If the OP chooses to have an adversarial relationship with his sister, then he must accept the advice of others on this thread. Seek the advice of counsel.

    Leave a comment:


  • EdwardRHill
    replied
    Originally posted by Brunetmj View Post
    I think a lawyer would advise you to do nothing. It is up to her to prove she has any relationship with your father.
    A lawyer will know what question to ask and be able to write whatever he needs to write and can have her sign it. I don't think much of a guy who doesn't want to meet with his kid but thats the way things are I hope all parties can come to some kind of agreement.

    Also you can ask her if she would be willing to talk to your lawyer because you have concerns. Get a fell about what she is really up too. Does she want to know who she is or get what she can.
    Last edited by EdwardRHill; 17 November 2012, 09:37 AM.

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