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How to make the most out of a closer match?

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  • How to make the most out of a closer match?

    My son has 77 "4th cousins or closer" my daughter is too young to test but both are at FTDNA. My son has 4 3-4th cousins. Two are from my side and two from the biological fathers side. Many of the 77 are from my side or from their Swedish line on their bio father's side so overall isn't helpful. The new match he finally got shares 104cM across 7 segments and they have him guessed to be a 3rd cousin. He also matches the only other close match which is a lady who shares 146 across 7 segments. I'm unsure if they know each other or how they relate. I asked but he didn't really respond. The lady doesn't have a tree available and hasn't responded to my message nor rarely logs in. The new match has responded but isn't very helpful. I'm unsure why he took the test, he had mentioned that he has not spent much time looking into his family Ancestey since it isn't a priority. Perhaps he was only interested in the ethnicity report.

    This is really the only match I have to go off of to hopefully start learning who are my children's ancestors and building a basic family tree. I had used a donor with both children and they are full siblings. Their biological grandmother is German/Sweden and their grandfather is Italian on the biological fathers side. I'm almost positive that the new match is from the Italian line when comparing the shared matches though many of the shared matches also have Europe West, all Italy/Greece. None have helpful family trees. He gave me the Surname of his father and grandfather and the maiden name of his grandmother. When I search those two names in my children's data base they get zero results. This could be that they have so few overall matches. I'm hoping that since this is finally a closer match with someone who seems willing to respond a little I might figure out a common ancestor and build a tree back from that line. He seems nice but provides very little info. This seems new to him and I don't want to bother him. How can I make the most of this? I would guess they share the same great great or great great great grandparent as my children based off the shared cM. The one random name he gave me on his mother's side wasn't any help either. I'm not sure if it's her last name or what he just said its the one name he can give me.

  • #2
    I would get all the tests done, then re-group.


    • #3
      Build a family tree based on the information you were given

      If you think that person is a good lead, see if you can find records for him and the relatives he mentioned. If you can build a paper trail for him, you may be able to use it to connect with other relatives. That may be enough info to find a related tree in or

      He may give you more information later, so be patient and try again, see if he'll give you dates to go with the names.

      You might want to test at 23 and Me and AncestryDNA to see if there is anyone who tested there that matches.

      The adoption resources can work for you too. I think has a process to follow and classes to help you.

      Good luck--and learn to enjoy the hunt. It is like a big acrostic puzzle and it may take time, but you'll get there if you keep at it.


      • #4
        Are you on Facebook? Join the group 'DNA Detectives'


        • #5
          I think I'm close but one thing isn't adding up.

          So this person with shared cM of 104 at ancestry has to be a fairly close relative. Guessing 3rd cousin. He has given me info but isn't very friendly and not as helpful as most I talk to. When looking at the census of some of his great grandparents I saw one had a occupation as working as a concrete sculptural artist. I know my children's bio grandfather and his brother worked in a concrete studio that was started by their father. So I messaged him and he told me yes that his grandfathers brother did. That would be my children's great grandparents if the connection is correct and then my children would share their great great grandparent with his great grandparent. So that would be second cousins once removed I think.

          The company lines up completely with what I already know from the bio father. I know that the company is now run by the two sons (one if correct is my children's grandfather). So I found info on one son and that would not line up correctly but the second son would in being that he had 2 sons and 1 daughter. I know the donor had one brother and sister. I also know that his mother was German(MGF)/Swedish(MGM) and mother of the 3 children surname German. HOWEVER the age of this group doesn't fully line up. They are about 10 years older and one of the three siblings has died in 1986. The donor said he had a teen brother and a sister in her 20's.

          I searched info on his mother's side that he gave me since the above side is this matches paternal side and couldn't find how it could fit. Super confused now.