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  • My Story

    Hello to all

    I would like to introduce myself i am Judy I have been doing family research off and on for over 30 years.. I am a 62 year old female..I have a family tree on Ancestry and decided to do a DNA came back in Sept. I connected my DNA results to my tree. I explored my matches looking at all the links and then I discovered that the man I put down as my father is NOT my father..their was no zero dna matches to him.. I went all the way back to the 1500s..and had an extensive histroy on this man thinking he was my father..I can not ask either one father who died in 1996 or mother who died in 2014.

    where do I go from here to find my real father? what dna test should I do to start tracking down my leanage on my true father..


  • #2
    Hi Judy,

    I'm sorry you're dealing with this. The DNA test you took on Ancestry is the correct one. Have you taken the Family Finder test on here? I'd also suggest 23andMe or MyHeritage (if you're willing to get a subscription too). Do you have any close DNA matches so far that don't appear to be on your mother's side?


    • #3
      Judy, what Serket advised is true: you may want to test at other companies, to "fish in all ponds" for relatives on your birth father's side. You can transfer your Ancestry raw data file to Family Tree DNA (FTDNA), and MyHeritage, but would need to order a new test from 23andMe (both 23andMe and Ancestry do not accept transfers). Roberta Estes has two articles on transferring to other companies:
      DNA File Upload-Download and Transfer Instructions to and from DNA Testing Companies
      and DNA Testing and Transfers – What’s Your Strategy?

      If you test or transfer your file to FTDNA, there is a way to "filter" your match list to show if they are related on your maternal or paternal side. It's called the Family Matching System, and uses the Family Matching Tool. In your case, you would need a known relative on your maternal side to test. By linking your tested known maternal relative to a tree in your account at FTDNA, the tool will then filter your match list to show which relatives are related on your mother's side. You can then see if those matches in your match list who are not maternal might be from your unknown paternal side. 23andMe can do this filtering, too, even without having a tree, but in their system it must be a parent who has tested. So their filtering would not work for you.

      If your mother's ancestry is known to you (ethnicity, locations, surnames, etc.), but you don't know your birth father's ancestry, it might be tricky to figure out which of your matches are possibly from your paternal side. But, if your birth father had a distinctly different ethnicity, or came from another location, those matches may stand out. Do you see anything unusual in your ethnicity estimate at Ancestry? If your birth father was of a different ethnicity than your mother, you should see some sign of it in your estimate.

      In any case, you may want to get help and advice from and their Google group forum. They have resources for adoptees and others with unknown parents.
      Last edited by KATM; 14 November 2019, 03:43 PM.


      • #4
        Judy, great suggestions by KATM and Serket!

        And, there is the possibility he IS your real "bio" father. The surname disconnect could be with HIS father (your grandfather), or even further back in time. An "adoption" could have happened in the line, so the accurate surname has not been passed down to current times. It is sometimes called a broken line.

        What cMs do your top 3-4 matches share?
        Last edited by Biblioteque; 14 November 2019, 05:29 PM.


        • #5
          Hello Thank you for your comments.. I do have 2 sister and a brother and all four of us were born to the same mother.. I have a older sister and a younger sister and brother the older sister and younger brother have not taken a dna test.. me and my younger sister have...its was known that my younger sister had a different father but we both match on Shared DNA: 1,531 cM across 66 segments could by chance her and I be full blood sister and have the same father..


          • #6
            I would like to take another dna test and see how I can fit it into my budget... depends on cost..


            • #7
              IF you intend to do testing/transferring of yourself or any relatives to FTDNA, in order to use them to "phase" or filter your match list for maternal relatives, here is a list of relatives that would be useful for that purpose:
              • Parent(s)
              • Aunts
              • Uncles
              • First Cousins
              • Grandparents
              • Half siblings
              • Half “other relatives” such as aunts, uncles, first cousins, etc.
              • Second Cousins
              • Third Cousins
              • Great-great-grandparents
              • Great-grandparents
              • Grand uncles
              • Grand aunts
              • Great-grandaunts
              • Great-granduncles
              The above relatives on your mother's side would be useful for the Family Matching System. Note that full siblings aren't on that list, and would not be useful for the Family Matching System. But, there are different reasons for testing your siblings, one of which is that the more siblings you have and can test, it will provide more coverage of your parents' DNA. A half-sibling will help with the shared parent's DNA. FTDNA has a sale going on now through Nov. 28th. The Family Finder autosomal test is on sale for $59. Other companies may be having similar discounts.

              If you think you might want to transfer your Ancestry results to another company, in the link I posted earlier, DNA Testing and Transfers – What’s Your Strategy? Roberta Estes writes:
              • Family Tree DNA – $19 one-time unlock fee for advanced tools
              • MyHeritage – $29 one-time fee for advanced tools or a subscription, which you can try for free, here
              • GedMatch – many tools free, but for Tier 1 advanced tools, $10 per month
              Transferring would be a less expensive way of getting into another company's database, without paying for a new kit and having to send it in. If you want to have other relatives do a DNA test, keep your eyes open and take advantage of sale pricing at all the companies. Now through the end of the year is the usual time for sales.

              1,531 cM shared is not enough for a full sibling. You can use the Shared cM Project tool at the DNAPainter website to get a range of possible relatives. 1,531 cM fits for a half sibling, but is not enough shared DNA for a full sibling.

              Have you talked with any relatives on your mother's side, to see if they might know and share any information about your father?


              • #8
                Judy, in your original post, your stated your primary concern was the lineage of your true FATHER. If you think your brother and you share the same father, you could consider having your brother do the Y dna testing. This is father to father to father on the patrilineal line. Another poster here, who is more knowledgeable, can walk you through Y testing.

                At present, FTDNA is having a great sale as outlined in the link by Roberta Estes.


                Last edited by Biblioteque; 15 November 2019, 09:33 AM.


                • #9
                  Bib I would consider asking my brother for his help but sadly we are on the outs with each other. and it saddens me ever I do have 2 his sons that are very close to me..and asking them to do the Y-dna would be possible..I also have three daughters and 2 sons one of my daughters have done the dna and she is doing the 23and me one.she just sent it in to be tested..

                  all my life as a young girl I never felt I belonged to this man that raised me..and now I know why..I will have to check to see what I need to do to try and transfer my dna data over


                  • #10
                    Ok I really need some help figuring out this DNA. I went back in to my ancestry tree and deleated the man I thought was my father all my life and put in the father of my younger sister Barbara to see if i was related to her father or one of the three brothers or even the dad of the 4 brothers.. well I got a hit it showed a parent connection of 3454 cm of fred being my father but my sister Barb is related closely.. Fred has three brothers I may be or she could be daughter of one of the three brothers and we share the same mother..Hope someone can follow along and not get confused here be cause my mind is blown and in the OMFG mode


                    • #11
                      Judy, are you saying you now have a dna match in your Match List at Ancestry with Fred, and the two of you share 3454 cMs?

                      Blaine's DNA Painter indicates 3454 cMs is a Parent, or Child relationship.


                      Out of curiosity, at Ancestry, check to see who is in your Shared Matches List with Fred. When you click your dna match, Fred, it brings up his page. Click on Shared Matches.
                      Last edited by Biblioteque; 15 November 2019, 04:46 PM.


                      • #12
                        Yes Bib that is what shows as a parent/child relationship 3454 cms the other match I am connected with is my sister Barabra at the 1,531 cM across 66 segments with her being close family 1st that leads me to think that one of Freds brothers Thomas, James or Robert one of them her father


                        • #13
                          I watched a sad video last night about a man who took a DNA test and discovered that he was not the biological father of either of his sons. It turns out that his ex-wife was having an affair with her boss. Now he won't have any biological grandchildren.


                          • #14
                            sad thing I am back to square one trying to find my real father just hope I can get the FTDNA test for xmas as a gift


                            • #15
                              If you have a DNA match of 3454 centimorgans, then that is a parent child relationship or an identical twin. I am not sure that is the case from your post. But if it's not one of your children, then it's likely your parent.