money and time wasters

[P Maddocks]

I had a DNA test done years ago and have matched with three people with zero difference; one of whom had a Maddocks derived surname; another had a relative with a Maddocks derived surname. I have also had a match of all but one to a Maddocks.

None of these have contacted me or responded to my attempts to contact them.

So what was the point in spending all that money on DNA and all that time building up family trees when you don't want to speak to someone who may well be related to you?

Philip Maddocks

[John McCoy]

There is no guarantee of what you may find in genetic genealogy. However, genealogical useful results are frequently obtained. In your case, at least you know that others who match your surname and your Y DNA profile actually exist! That is not the result I got: my McCoy family turns out not be related to any other McCoy family that has been tested (so I can safely ignore their genealogies), and is, in fact, out on a little twig on the R1b haplotree with no clear connection to any other family. Other families get results on the other extreme, where multiple branches of a single ancient family (Buchanan is one) can be identified by STR or SNP profiles.

[J Honeychuck]

Look at the surge in kit sales around Mother's Day and Father's Day. Many of these kits must be unwanted gifts. When the results come in, the recipient doesn't take the time to understand them, and probably never looks at them again.

[Jim Barrett]

I built my tree for my benefit, not for the benefit of others, therefore I don't feel that time or money was wasted. I took my DNA test for my benefit. I feel I have gained enough information from these test to make them worth the money.

Sure, I have had more matches who don't respond than who have, but I have enjoyed the exchange with those who have. Those who fail to respond are the ones who wasted their time and money, not me.

As for unwanted kits that were given as gifts, I hope the giver retained access to the kit and use the information gained to their benefit. If not that is their loss.

[DRNewcomb]

Look at the surge in kit sales around Mother's Day and Father's Day. Many of these kits must be unwanted gifts. When the results come in, the recipient doesn't take the time to understand them, and probably never looks at them again.

Several of my wife's relatives tested on Ancestry, looked at the ethnicity estimate and then forgot about the test. I've been trying to get them to upload the raw data to GEDmatch but they just aren't interested. Most people would be only vaguely interested in (and maybe a little scared of) genealogy. It's something that interests their crazy cousin (e.g. me).

[MyTr33]

Just pay for some kits & YOU do the work then family will gladly help!

me and three sisters decided to just buy kits for the most important MALES to go deep in Ancestry & older generation grandparent siblings. We are asking whoever can pay to buy their own kits. So I called those older generation family & said Hey, we are doing a big family tree and we need to find some missing relatives so can I come by for a visit & personally swab your mouth for a DNA test and write out a statement saying that you have permission to purchase future upgrades on their DNA with their kit number & mail a copy with their kit & keep a copy for yourself. Put your own email as the primary email and yourself as beneficiary (with their permission of course) Then as you make the contacts & confirm relationships and build tree, print them a copy and or take to a family reunion. They all want to see the finished product of a tree & are willing to meet new family at a reunion but they just don't want to do the work required for great progress or want to learn how to compare DNA etc. You will find if you offer to do the work & provide results for them, they will be very willing. for the most part. Besides my older generation relatives don't even have a PC or smart phone. So yea, they gladly accepted. so far 7 kits last month and another 5 soon...also 4 family members are going to be ordering soon...we are all just waiting on a great sale under $60 *just make sure you get those permissions & if you can't personally take the kit to them just ask them to send the permission (signed & dated)i talked of earlier via US mail or email AND make sure they put your email address on the registration card in their kit & that they actually have it scanned at post office when they send it back for proof of mailing. * MAY DO A GROUP PROJECT with my family since I'm managing most of the kits. GOOD LUCK!

[Carpathian]

So what was the point in spending all that money on DNA and all that time building up family trees when you don't want to speak to someone who may well be related to you?

Philip Maddocks

It seems your expectations might have been too high.

Jim Barrett replied:

I built my tree for my benefit, not for the benefit of others, therefore I don't feel that time or money was wasted. I took my DNA test for my benefit. I feel I have gained enough information from these test to make them worth the money.

Sure, I have had more matches who don't respond than who have, but I have enjoyed the exchange with those who have. Those who fail to respond are the ones who wasted their time and money, not me.

If you look at it that way, you won't be disappointed.

MyTr33replied:

You will find if you offer to do the work & provide results for them, they will be very willing. for the most part.

Not necessarily. It all depends upon what your family of origin was (and probably still is) like, and generationally that is usually beyond anyone's control. Cooperative families will be cooperative, and competitive families will be uncooperative. Some people expect that those who do the heavy lifting of genealogical research give it to them, as if they are entitled to receiving it while contributing nothing in return - often not even saying an acknowledgement of thanks. Some of us have experienced that ingratitude.

We all come from many different cultures and backgrounds. It depends upon the nature of what your genealogical family was/is like. Often one's level of education and socio-economic factors also play a role in how relatives, be they distant or close, relate to each other, and it occurs over generations. You can't make anyone respond to you. If or when they do respond, if they are then capable of interaction with you, that will then be for you to decide - including whatever your relationship with them will be.

[Swennilsson]

I too get annoyed at the lack of responses to my emails. Some of the comments are probably right about many test takers having gotten kits as gifts, and actually have little or no interest in genealogy. In some cases, the test taker may be deceased, and many of us have gotten the most elderly members of the family to test. It could also be that the person took the test to help with a very specific line in his/her family, and NOT the line you happen to match.

[gatty]

I can understand how frustrating it is. I have a relatively rare surname,Gatty, but have one surname match at 37 markers with GD of 2. I have tried in vain several times to get them to upgrade their Y/do Family finder,even offering to pay for it , to no avail.
It's really frustrating as 37-2 and same surname suggests a connection. It would've been great to see if we match on FF, and if so see our matches in common .