Contacting DNA matches

[The_Contemplator]

Testing multiple relatives casts a wider net in finding distant cousins. I manage multiple kits as well. My relatives have no interest in this other than whatever stories I tell them. I paid for the kits, and they donated DNA.

[T0pcat]

I understand that people manage several kits and that the people who were tested may not be interested in contact, but surely it's the person managing the kit who has the information we're looking for so we don't really need to contact the tester? The kit managers should surely be willing to make contact.

[OrourkeKing]

When you order a dna test, you will notified of ANY matches that you have? If so, how is it done? I'm gonna be order the family finder and Y37 tests. Thanx...

[KATM]

The notifications for any Y-DNA test matches will be sent, but it depends upon how you have your settings set up in your account. In your account, go to Account Settings, then Match and Email Settings. There you can select whether or not to receive email notifications for each level (12, 25, 37, etc.). Note that when you choose "No," to disable receiving email notifications for any of the levels, you also disable making those level matches available on your Y-DNA matches page, and showing your profile and contact information to those matches.

But many people get a lot of matches at the 12 marker level, even at the 25 marker level, which are not relevant, so opt to disable notifications and viewing matches at those levels.

For Family Finder, this is controlled the same way from your Account Settings. I believe you may only get a notification email if the match has an Immediate or Close relationship. See "What are the possible relationships for a Family Finder match?" in the Learning Center for the four categories of matches. I certainly have not received email notifications for matches when the estimated relationship range is 2nd-4th cousin and higher (Distant and Speculative ranges) in any of the accounts I manage, and the settings are set to show them and receive notifications for all levels.

The Learning Center also has a page explaining why you may not receive a notification email.

[anylabtestwaco]

Once your DNA results have been released, you'll be keen to start emailing your closest matches, especially if any of their surnames or places look familiar.

[DawidM88]

I have one very intersting match but no reply from him. It's disappointing

[MasterMel]

Contacting people

Very few people here on FTDNA, have reponded to me. On Facebook groups, people have FB added me left and right. I know it's tough. You just have bto keep at it.

[Alexandrina]

I've contacted people with my Family Finder list of 194. So far it's been OK! 20 and such and I have exchanged Gedmatch numbers and I guess I need to order a Family finder test. Just got some result of my YDNA 67 test, but can't make heads or tails of that yet. Will try and contact Gedmatch matches as well. BE SURE the people are at least 7CM's because that's the standard for a match. Also be very friendly in your messages towards them, listing all your batch and Gedmatch kit numbers. Gives people more assurance.

Master Mel,

If you only have 194 Family Finder matches then you need to pay the small fee to unlock the others. Have you turned off speculative matches? Many members have thousands of Family Finder matches. Is your family exclusively from a non European speaking nation?

Alexandrina Murray

[ltd-jean-pull]

Master Mel,

If you only have 194 Family Finder matches then you need to pay the small fee to unlock the others.

I don't think this advice is correct.

[Miamio]

Contacting matches

My experience has been very disappointing.People seem afraid to share info,but want me to share mine.Some have been obnoxious.Alot never reply.I have found it mostly unpleasant.Trying to figure out human nature.
I get it.....they are fed up with their present families and don’t need anymore! I think FTDNA should have a special section on this. How to
Entice your matches,what to do,etc.

[Miamio]

All of you are not alone.The ones that do can be obnoxious and suspicious.
A real disappointment.

[keigh]

I manage my brother's DNA test because he simply has no interest in doing genealogy. He took the test as a favor to me, and doesn't want any of his personal information to be handed out. This seems to be the attitude my other siblings have as well. "Genealogy, Meh!, Leave us alone!"

I've found that if I have some connection apparent with a match and let them know what it is, the response rate is better. Sometimes the only information I can give someone is that their DNA seems to becoming from my father's side or my mother's. And that just isn't enough to interest them so no response.

[Steph Aurelio]

Bonjour à tous

Je suis de retour au sein de cette communauté ! J'aimerais partagé avec vous une expérience qui m'a complètement choqué. Mon père a travaillé à l'étranger, et il est parti depuis déjà 5 ans, sans la moindre communication ni message de sa part. Hier, ma mère et moi avons eu une dispute à propos de cette situation. Finalement, elle m'a révélé quelque chose qui m'a pris par surprise : cet homme n'est pas mon vrai père. J'ai été profondément déçu et j'ai passé toute la journée à pleurer. La personne que je pensais être mon père ne l'est pas ? Je pense sérieusement à faire un test ADN pour découvrir la vérité. Peut-être-vous, mes amis, m' aider ? Est-ce une bonne idée ?"
Mercii beaucoup
Aurelio

[KATM]

Aurelio, you may want to make a new topic to post this question. I'm sorry you found out this news so suddenly. These situations are hard on all parties, but especially for the child who did not know about his parent.

If you take an autosomal DNA test (such as the Family Finder test at FTDNA) to confirm what your mother told you, you may find cousins related on your birth father's side. But how will you know them? If your mother, or another close maternal relative also does an autosomal DNA test, you may be able to eliminate some of your matches as being maternal. If you know any relatives of the man you thought was your father, and they agreed to do a DNA test and didn't match you at all, that would prove what your mother told you.

It would be a hard discussion, but perhaps if you ask your mother, she will tell you the name of your birth father.

Translation of the above using Google Translate:
Aurelio, tu voudras peut-être créer un nouveau sujet pour poster cette question. Je suis désolé que vous ayez appris cette nouvelle si soudainement. Ces situations sont difficiles pour toutes les parties, mais surtout pour l'enfant qui ne connaissait pas son parent.

Si vous faites un test ADN autosomique (comme le test Family Finder de FTDNA) pour confirmer ce que votre mère vous a dit, vous pourriez trouver des cousins apparentés du côté de votre père biologique. Mais comment les connaîtrez-vous ? Si votre mère ou un autre parent maternel proche effectue également un test ADN autosomique, vous pourrez peut-être éliminer certaines de vos correspondances comme étant maternelles. Si vous connaissez des proches de l'homme que vous pensiez être votre père, et qu'ils ont accepté de faire un test ADN et ne correspondent pas du tout, cela prouverait ce que votre mère vous a dit.

Ce serait une discussion difficile, mais peut-être que si vous demandez à votre mère, elle vous dira le nom de votre père biologique.