Very new and finally have results

[Sara291]

I did a test on myself and son (who I used a donor to have). I did both through Family tree and ancestry DNA. Still very new to the sites. I know the donor has one sister and one brother. I believe brother is younger and sister is older. On ancestry DNA I had some 2-3 cousins and such however my son has a close family match that says close family - 1st cousins. I'm not seeing this person show up in my matches so I assume it's on the fathers side and likely his sister? It just says S.W and I don't actually know more.

[loobster]

Are you talking about something showing up on FamilyTreeDNA or Ancestry?

Do not have Ancestry Account, and on FamilyFinder - I have seen a RelationShip Range but I have not seen "close family - 1st cousins" for any on FAQ pages showing the Ranges FTDNA might show -- maybe you are just paraphrasing something, or is that Ancestry? https://www.familytreedna.com/learn/...-finder-match/

On FamilyTreeDNA - if you click on the Profile Picture, you get the Profile with the person's e-mail address. Or at least you should. For suggestions on successful ways to approach: http://dna-explained.com/2016/01/20/...the-dna-world/

[Sara291]

This was ancestry dna

[MMaddi]

The estimated 1st cousin your son has at AncestryDNA is likely from the donor bio-dad's side, as you're thinking. If such a close relative to your son is not also on your match list, then the match doesn't seem likely to come from your side.

If the match is actually your son's first cousin and is from your side, then the match would be your niece/nephew. That's an even closer relationship, DNA-wise, and should show up on your match list there. The fact that the match doesn't show up for you indicates it's from your son's donor bio-dad's side.

However, if the 1st cousin match for your son is from the donor bio-dad's side, it wouldn't be the donor bio-dad's brother or sister. It would be the nephew/niece of the donor bio-dad. Aunt-uncle/nephew-niece share 25% of DNA on average, but 1st cousins share 12.5% of DNA on average. An autosomal test should easily tell the difference between the two relationships.

[Sara291]

It just says "close-first cousin" it also says female and has her letters as S.W. The test was done by someone else or at least is on someone else's account (like how my sons shows up as on my account. I emailed and they said it could be a neice, aunt or grandparent. It has to be the donor side. I messaged but no response I looked up the name of the family tree and it was connected to someone with the the same Initials but showed her name as well however that was opened on FB and I feel uncomfortable contacting them outside of ancestry.

[MMaddi]

It just says "close-first cousin" it also says female and has her letters as S.W. The test was done by someone else or at least is on someone else's account (like how my sons shows up as on my account. I emailed and they said it could be a neice, aunt or grandparent. It has to be the donor side. I messaged but no response I looked up the name of the family tree and it was connected to someone with the the same Initials but showed her name as well however that was opened on FB and I feel uncomfortable contacting them outside of ancestry.

I've bolded what the person at AncestryDNA told you because it sounds like it's someone in customer support who doesn't know what they're talking about. I've heard other cases where experienced genetic genealogists talked to customer support at AncestryDNA and knew more than the representative.

An aunt or grandmother would share about the same percentage (25%) with your son. As I posted previously, a 1st cousin would only share about half that, 12.5%. Unless the amount shared is about halfway between the two percentages and unclear as to the relationship, then I think the relationship is 1st cousin.

The problem is that AncestryDNA does not have a chromosome browser, as FTDNA and 23andMe do. So, it's hard to to get an idea what the range of estimated relationships corresponds to in terms of shared DNA. Plus, their algorithm uses a unique method that supposedly allows them to be more accurate than FTDNA or 23andMe.

You can actually find out at AncestryDNA how much DNA (in cMs) and how many segments are shared. Open up that match and click on the gray circle with an "i" inside it, which is next to the confidence level, under the "Predicted Relationship" near the top of the page. The total amount of shared cM and number of segments will pop up.

Tell us what those numbers are and it may help clarify if this match is more likely an aunt or a 1st cousin. For comparison sake, I have a paper trail proven 2nd cousin at AncestryDNA with whom I'm told I share 148 cM in 10 segments.

The other thing to do is to upload your son's raw data from AncestryDNA to a free website, GEDmatch.com. Then, if you can convince the match to also upload there, you can do direct comparisons between the two and see the segments that are shared and how large they are. That would help to determine if the relationship is more likely aunt or 1st cousin.

[Sara291]

Interesting. I looked at his and my match and it says 3,383 centimorgans shared across 92 DNA segments and the "close family" says 1,603 centimorgans shared across 64 DNA segments.

I don't the father has one sister (not sure if it's older or younger) and one younger brother. I'm almost certain that they do not have any children. So I'm guessing this match is the bio grandmother on the donors side. So the donors mom. I tried messaging but they did not respond. The "close match" is not the main Administrator of the test though. I assume
It's the same as how I have my son and friends tests all
On my account.

[MMaddi]

Interesting. I looked at his and my match and it says 3,383 centimorgans shared across 92 DNA segments and the "close family" says 1,603 centimorgans shared across 64 DNA segments.

I don't the father has one sister (not sure if it's older or younger) and one younger brother. I'm almost certain that they do not have any children. So I'm guessing this match is the bio grandmother on the donors side. So the donors mom. I tried messaging but they did not respond. The "close match" is not the main Administrator of the test though. I assume
It's the same as how I have my son and friends tests all
On my account.

I read your post in the other thread you started about this. This is where you think you've found the person on Facebook and, based on the age, think the relationship with your son is grandmother. That means the match is the mother of the donor bio-dad.

What you wrote in the other thread sounds reasonable. So, it must be that the match is your son's grandmother. The amount of cMs shared would point more toward 25% than 12.5% shared. So, that makes it more likely this is a grandmother or aunt than a 1st cousin.

Since I don't have any match closer than a 2nd cousin at AncestryDNA, I wasn't aware that they lump 1st cousins together with closer relatives in their estimates. So, I was mistaken in criticizing the knowledge of the customer service representative who responded to your e-mail about the match. I learned something new about AncestryDNA matching today.

I wonder if this woman knows that she has at least one grandchild out there, due to her son being a sperm donor. Obviously, this would be touchy if she hadn't known that before. So, I can understand why you want to be careful about how to communicate with her.

It may be that she would be offended if you came right out and wrote this to her. Or she may be delighted to find that she has a grandchild (maybe more) she didn't know about. It's tough to know how you should handle this.

[Sara291]

Yes I agree. I would also like to respect the donor as well. Clearly he choice to be a donor and I choice to use a donor for personal reasons. Donors are told though that with advances nothing is 100% anonymous anymore. I didn't approach it as trying to find info on my bio father. I just put that I see that it was matched as close and was hoping for more info as I learn about Amcestry DNA. I don't want to over step my boundaries and her FB page seems to be pretty limited in terms as info allowed. I saw her friends list and she has I assume one daughter based off a post and pictures but again it's all very limited. I doubt the siblings of the donor have children and then the only other option is his bio aunt or grandmother (I assume it wouldn't be great grandmother). She is linked to a family tree and I typed in the family name and it showed up on FB so that was easy but again most of her FB is set to private though she is friends with one person who has the same Initials as the "close match". If that person is the same as the "close match" is a guess clearly but it seems to line up in several ways based off what I know. Again everything is limited on FB and I don't feel comfortable super digging type thing. I don't want to contact outside of Ancestry DNA since that seems a little rude given my situation. I'm glad I'm
Able to at least get a most likely idea of what the match meant. Hoping to find out more.

[Sara291]

I suppose another possibility would be the "close match" to be another donor sibling. I know several of the donor siblings but I know there are a few I don't know.

[The_Contemplator]

I looked at his and my match and it says 3,383 centimorgans shared across 92 DNA segments and the "close family" says 1,603 centimorgans shared across 64 DNA segments.

I manage a few kits of relatives. My mother's kit is in a Parent/Child subgroup with possible range being "Parent, Child - immediate family member". As for my grandparents, they are in a Close Family subgroup with possible range being "Close family - 1st cousins". As an example, when I view one of my grandparents it tells me that the amound of shared DNA is 1,518 centimorgans shared across 56 DNA segments. So I think your son's match must be his grandmother through the bio-dad.

However, I don't have an example of an uncle/aunt kit to compare with a nephew/niece. I am waiting for the results of one kit that should give me such a combo with one of the other kits I manage. The other two grandparents I tested share even more DNA with me in a few more segments than the one I used as an example.

[Sara291]

After further research and my sisters help at looking at the site I'm pretty sure the close match is a 1/2 sibling of my children. Which would be similar to DNA I assume as a bio grandparent.

[MMaddi]

After further research and my sisters help at looking at the site I'm pretty sure the close match is a 1/2 sibling of my children. Which would be similar to DNA I assume as a bio grandparent.

Yes, both grandparent/grandchild and half siblings share roughly the same amount of DNA - 25%. So, given that your son's father was a sperm donor, the match at AncestryDNA could very easily be another of his children.

[The_Contemplator]

Ah I hadn't considered the half sibling possibility. Though I have not seen a pair of kits for that so I don't know how many shared segments they could have. I wonder if that would be a clue for future situations like this.